My life is no longer mine. It never has been. And never will be.
As a baby, I was my mothers child. By all laws of nature, I was hers. But I was stolen from her. The government decided she wasnt fit. So they took me. I traveled from home to home looking for a place where I belonged. Of course this is only from what Ive been told.
After all the searching, finally someone took me in. For good. She did it out of the kindness of her heart. She saw me as her chance to redeem herself. For all the mistakes she had made in her life. So then, I was hers. Having to do as she told me. She was my ruler. She told me what time to lay, and when to rise. She took care of me. Sheltered me from the harsh, harsh world. She was almost always kind. As long as I followed her commands.
As I grew into a young woman, I started to want to break out of the cocoon she had built around me. I had developed from a caterpillar into a butterfly. I wanted to show the world my beauty. As I continually tried, she wove the cocoon tighter and tighter. Almost to the point of suffocation. But I was still able to breath and keep my hope. At one point, I broke free. I spread my wings and flew. During this time, I was able to see just a small portion of the world. But then it all crumbled to pieces as she threatened me with a spider. A spider that could catch me in its web and not let go till it felt the need. So I was given an option: Follow her, or get caught. So I decided to follow her. But as insurance that I wouldnt stray again, she held the thought of spider over me.
She made me fear her.
So again, I was hers.
I am still hers.
I still fear the spider.
I hold the tears in till they explode into a river. And I fall into it. Drowning. I try to breath in the water. Hoping for some sort of escape. But time and time again, I find myself put back into her grasp.
Until spider says I can go, I am under her harsh reign.
Even after spider decides I can go, I am still under his reign. For forever more.
My life never was mine. And never will be.